Vetting.
Vetting Process and Guidelines:
Institutional vetting can only go so far. Personal vetting can be challenging. For vetting to be more effective, we believe that it is a communal process. We rely on the honest and open feedback of others along with our own investigations in order to identify levels of alignment as well as harmful practices and behaviors.
What is your personal risk profile and do you know how to identify someone else’s?
Can you articulate your boundaries and limits as well as your wants and desires?
Vetting Teachers/ Presenters:
Temple requires that all presenters fill out a “self-disclosure form” requesting any and all information about past consent violations/ injuries caused/ accountability processes that were initiated, who the process included and what the outcomes were. We ask for multiple references of other organizations where they have taught, and multiple working partners they have had, whether play partners or co-presenters whom we may contact to verify information provided and to ask about their past experiences together. We follow up on the information provided as well as with anyone we know who has direct experience with the presenter to gather as much information as possible before deciding if we feel confident in working with them. We acknowledge that no process of vetting is perfect. If anyone contacts us about someone we have chosen to work with, we take your communication seriously and investigate further. We have cancelled presenters in the past due to this occurring and subsequently amended and enhanced our vetting process. We also require that all Teachers/ Presenters sign an agreement that states our community agreements and our acknowledgment of higher responsibility and standards for presenters.
Vetting Community Members:
Temple is a unique space in the greater NYC BDSM Scene in that it offers a place for people who are new to the Scene and who are entering “public” spaces from a more private practice to engage with and develop community. This does leave us in a higher level of potential risk and liability. We are working on ways to both be inclusive and to also maintain a high standard of behavior in our space. Here are some of the ways we aim to do that.
We seek alignment from our members. We require that everyone read and acknowledge our Community Agreements, Consent Policies, Safety/ Risk Policies and engage with us ONLY if they agree with them and choose to act in accordance.
We offer a climate for “Acculturation” meaning we all work to embody and reinforce our code of conduct, respectful interpersonal dynamics, and “ways” of engaging in BDSM that we agree are consensual, ethical, and serve as a good example to others, and to support each other in this process.
We agree to be receptive and to communicate with each other especially when people act outside of our collective agreements so that their behaviors can be addressed promptly, ideally before they create serious harm to themselves and others.
We reserve the right to restrict or ban anyone from the space if they are not willing or able to align with the community agreements, to be accountable for their actions or work to repair and take responsibility.
We agree to engage in “On-Going Vetting”. The process does not end just because you have become comfortable in the space or are seen as an “established” member. This process applies to all of us: members, organizers and presenters alike.
Personal Vetting:
Personal vetting is a process of getting to know someone and building trust by asking questions that are important to your feelings of safety and deciding for yourself, without making assumptions, whether or not you want to engage with them and can accept the risks associated with doing so. In modern parlance, it’s a “vibe check” conversation. Different levels of vetting are worth considering for different contexts. A supported space like a community rope jam may feel more permissive compared to going to meet someone at their private play space which holds higher risk factors.
Acknowledging and Identifying challenges in vetting, especially for newcomers -
How do I ask questions when I don’t know what to ask about?
How do I identify red flags before I commit to a scene?
When someone is more experienced than me, how can I acknowledge and correct for inherent power dynamics?
Who can I trust to give me honest and informative feedback about a potential partner?
How can I tell what bad behavior is when I have nothing to compare it to?
Say we did a thorough negotiation and then they don’t stick to the plan, what then?